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Assassin’s Creed: Revelations

This series of games are fucking awesome. ‘Nuff said. Na not really.

Double the Assassin


Assassins Creed has always been a favourite of mine and always will not just because of the game-play but because of the story, the graphics and most definitely the sound track. When the original was coming out I was still in school which is going back at least 5 years now so you can imagine that I was hooked from the get go.

The series as a whole is very strong and can easily make millions within the first week of sales so you know its going to be good. Basically Desmond from the previous games has gone a bit fucked after Brotherhood and is stuck in the animus and he has got to be Ezio again to piece together his shattered sub conscience to not become a vegetable, basically. You still play as Ezio Auditore Da Firenze and fuck me he is old! There are parts when you can Be Altair, can’t pronounce his full name but you get the drift.


The game takes place after Brotherhood and all there was to do in that has come back with a proper punch to the face. A welcome addition to the game is the hook blade which is essentially your hidden blade but you can use it to zip line and fuck up enemies on the go, which is always nice.

The hook blade

The game centres around Ezio travelling around the globe trying to find Altair’s hidden library which starts in Masyaf and ultimately is set for the rest of the game in Constantinople or Istanbul as its called now. If you remember, Masyaf  is where the original took place but when you get there and butcher a few bods you discover you need five keys Altair gave to Marco polo’s dad to unlock the library.

As the game goes on you can sense that Ezios getting tired of being an assassin and who could blame the poor cunt, he’s on borrowed time in this game that by the end of it I was gob smacked that he didn’t kill over. The funniest, yet unnecessary part of the game is when you get to play as OLD Altair which means you can’t free run or nothing like that but you can still counter, its good but it slows down the pace of the game, I mean when you try to run as OLD Altair he runs for two seconds and then starts coughing and spluttering like a beaten wife being choked, it is a tad unneeded.

Looking a bit haggered Altair

The Desmond segments are pretty much the same, fun yet unneeded, if you collect a certain amount of animus thingy majigs in Ezio’s world you can go back to being Desmond on Animus island as they call it and can relive Desmond’s memories. These segments are in first person and after a while get very boring because they are unnecessary.  I realised that they was just using this part as filler to keep you hooked until they could bring out Assassins Creed 3 next year but still you can tell they were running out of ideas with Ezio and Altair at this point and just put something together to hold us over.

This game is certainly more brutal with the kills this time around because Ezio has seen and done it all he just don’t give a shit, there is a kill in the game where Ezio stabs a guard in the face with a sword and twists it around breaking the poor bastards neck, I was like oh my christ that rough but chuckled because of the awesomeness I just saw.


There is still a fuck load to do in the game, I’ve still got loads to do but thought fuck it I better get this review done as I don’t want to disappoint people. The graphics are awesome as ever, a couple of texture pops n glitches now and then but nothing to troublesome to take you away from the game.

The soundtrack is fucking awesome just like the others and it seems to be getting better. The game plays just like the others obviously with the minor new additions but essentially it’s exactly the same. It is a solid game and if you are a fan of the previous installments you’d be fucked up not to invest in this, all the reviewers who say its worse than the rest can fuck off as far as im concerned, yeah it was getting stale with Ezio but at least the makers saw fit to have him go out with a bang.

There are some HOLY FUCK moments in the game that will leave you thinking DAMN GIRL! it’s a shame that it’s no longer Ezio as the main character after this one because you do feel like you’ve been through the wars with him and I appreciate that a game can make you feel like that with a fictional character, Altair can do one because he was only in one game and briefly in this one. definitely get this if you are a fan of the series, if not then don’t. Simples. Oh and by the way, the ending is fucking AWESOME.

Oh yeah there is a tower defence type game mode with Assassin dens and such but I wasn’t keen so I left that part out, I know I shouldn’t of but its like Marmite you either love it or hate it. I hated it because it was so repetitive and I grew tired of protecting my minions, so I let them perish because I’m a cunt.

Boring after a while.

Review: 4/5  You can tell it was getting stale but still a solid entry for Ezio and a no brainer for fans of the series.

Stay beautiful.


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