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Crash Bandicoot 1 and 2


Oh, I’ve got a treat for y’all, two blasts from the past. Woopidee doo indeed!

Nostalgia Ino deed!

We all know this loveable fuckwit and with good reason. Back in 1996, going back a long time now, Naughty dog created Crash Bandicoot a platformer for the PS1, well before Uncharted was even a sperm in Naughty Dog’s game creating ball sack. Crash Bandicoot is the story of a Bandicoot named Crash ( I wonder how they came up with that title?) who has been scientifically probed and experimented on by the villainous and flat-headed Dr Neo Cortex. Crash breaks free and Cortex goes on a rampage by Kidnapping Crash’s girlfriend and  laying turtles and indigenous tribe woman with shields in Crash’s way to stop him from reuniting with his coot lady.

Fuck off with your shield!

Crash Bandicoot is a level based platformer and Crash can spin to remove his foes or jumping on them seems to be equally effective. Crash can gain lives by completing bonus levels or collecting 100 wumpa fruits which can get tedious but what I realised is you can lose your lives as quickly as you gain them. I had about 30 lives at one point and was on one of the later levels and I went from 30 lives down to 1 within the space of 5 minutes. The game can be fucking hard at some points and you will be gritting your teeth most definitely. In the level there are boxes that can be broken which contain wumpa fruits, lives or a mask that will allow Crash to be hit more than once, if you get 3 of these masks you will be temporarily invincible which is awesome, you will need these masks.

This floating fucker will save your bacon more times than you can count.

There are bosses every 5 levels or so who aren’t hard to be fair but the memories will be coming back quite quickly.Crash Bandicoot is one of them gems that will never be forgotten.

Number 2

Crash Bandicoot 2 brings the loveable fuckwit back to our consoles with a vengeance. After defeating Cortex in the original game Crash just wants to kick back and sleep but nooo flat head has other plans. Crash 2 is pretty much the same as the original with the exception of warp rooms, a couple of new moves and now you have got to collect crystals. Cortex tricks Crash into collecting these crystals by saying they will save the world if all 25 are collecting and Crash, being the idiot that he is, goes off to slay penguins and robotic turtles to collect these pink crystals.

This is my warp room, there are many like it but this one is mine!

As I said Crash Bandicoot has a couple of new moves like a slide move which, if utilised properly, can tackle enemies quite easily and propel crash into the air if the jump button is pressed at the right time. A belly flop has been added to accompany the new metal boxes which can only be broken via belly flop so THANKS NAUGHTY DOG, smiley face :).

If all boxes are collected you will earn a gem which unlocks an alternate ending  but fuck that that’s long. there are bosses as usual, some you may recognise, some you may not.

the aforementioned flat head.

If you don’t know about the original Crash Bandicoot games then I don’t know what to say, may god have mercy on thy soul. Crash Bandicoot was the origin of Naughty Dog who went on to make some serious games within the industry. Crash Bandicoot is definitely up there with the greats.

I  hope you liked the double feature and as always

Stay Beautiful.

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