Proper news and reviews, no bullshit. seriously.

Max Payne 3

Moan, moan and fucking moan, I know he’s been through some shit but Jesus Christ on a lawnmower Max, smile!

The poster in true Rockstar fashion

After untold delays and push backs we have finally got our grubby little hands on Max Payne 3. Thank fuck for that.

The game stars the titular character and things have gone from bad to worse for poor old Mr. Payne who has moved from the gritty underbelly of New York to the clear blue skies, sandy beaches and all the cocktails you could possibly drink of Sao Paulo, Brazil but as always Max finds himself falling arse over tit trying to do good but ends up fucking things up for the worst.

Pumping lead into some poor fool.

Max is now a bodyguard for some rich, stuck up family and, for some reason I won’t spoil, the wife of the head of the family is kidnapped and Max, feeling obliged because he feels he’s fucked up his job, goes to rescue her but what he uncovers is something not even he could have imagined and Max has seen some fucked up shit!

The game is brilliant which is what you would expect from Rockstar and the Max Payne series in general really. The game boasts a superb story, superior graphics, excellent game-play and all around a wicked game.

The game-play is awesome, plain and simple, it is quite good to see that the game has kept the elements of its predecessors which made them awesome but they have just been revamped so that they are on the next-gen consoles. Bullet-time is as fun as ever, there is nothing like diving through the air in slow motion and witnessing man after man fall at your feet because your bullets are putting holes in all of them. A nice little touch was that when you finish a fire fight and you are on the last enemy, when you shoot him you have the choice of slowing down the bullet and watch with a satisfying grin as the slow bullet punctures his chest and if you keep firing bullets keep puncturing which is a neat little fuck you to the last man. Another awesome feature is the painkillers have made a return and my word will you need them, that goes without saying but the good feature is that if you have a painkiller stored and you are shot and near death you can shoot the person who shot you and if successful you will be back from the dead allowing you to continue. Nice.


I never got to play the multi-player as I am probably, for all intents and purposes, a solo kind of guy.

Max Payne 3 is a must buy plain and simple I would recommend it to anyone. My only gripe is that and this is going to  sound weird is that it can be repetitive because there are some points where you just want to get to the next bit and it seems like the enemies keep coming and you are thinking for fuck sake how many guys does it realistically take to bring down Max Payne but hey it’s a game I know.

Max looking a bit fucked up.

Review: 4.5/5. Nearly perfect just a bit tedious at times. Still worth a buy and a must for any Max Payne fan as it definitely holds up there with the older games in the series.

Stay Beautiful.





Get back to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s